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10 Ways to Pretend You're Irish on St. Patrick's Day

There's a huge dilemma every year: It's March 17th, and you don't have an ounce of Celtic blood coursing through your veins. Don't panic, because we've got you covered with 10 ways to trick people into thinking you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Follow these tips accordingly, and you may just fly under the radar!

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    1. Breakfast of Champions, er, of the Irish
    First, start the holiday off right by eating something "magically delicious," i.e. Lucky Charms. You'll need the extra luck to pull off this new Irish persona.
    Photo Credit: laffy4k
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    2. Have a joke with your lads
    Call everything your friends say "blarney" and just give them a hard time in general today for no particular reason at all. If it causes a ruckus, even better!
    Photo Credit: istolethetv
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    3. A passion for green fashion
    Adopt the latest fashion mantra: green is the new black. Though however tempting it may be, just say no to those tacky feather boas, top hats and glittery shamrock glasses. Nothing says, "I'm not actually Irish" quite like an emerald jumpsuit.
    Photo Credit: Kris Krug
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    4. Play tricks
    Hide makeshift "pots of gold" out in public, then when you find them act like it was a complete surprise by jumping up and down and yelling excitedly before skipping off with your treasure. Bonus points if you're dressed like a leprechaun (this is the ONLY exception to rule #3).
    Photo Credit: Jeremy Schultz
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    5. Get in the gifting spirit
    Hand out shamrocks to celebrate the occasion. Remember, 4-leaf clovers to your best mates for good luck, and "accidental" 3-leaf clovers to those you'd rather have kiss your arse.
    Photo Credit: D. Sharon Pruitt
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    6. Choose music fit for an Irish jig
    The holiday falls on a Monday this year, which means you'll more than likely have to showcase your natural love of Irish music at work instead of a karaoke pub. Something along the lines of purposely blasting The Pogues or Flogging Molly from your computer, then faking an apology to your coworkers by explaining you thought your headphones were plugged in, should do the trick.
    Photo Credit: Misko
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    7. Green beer? Go home
    Do not, under any circumstances,even think about drinking the green Guinness. A true Irishman or Irishwoman wouldn't touch the stuff! Better yet, make that point known aloud to those who are drinking it.
    Photo Credit: Garrett Coakley
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    8. Point out the obvious fakers
    Mosey up to a pub with a few of your best lads and order a pint for the each of ya, then proceed to scoff at the people wearing "Kiss Me I'm Irish" on any article of their clothing. Really, just do or say anything to draw attention to the fact that THEY are the ones pretending to be Irish. That's the spirit, you deceitful leprechaun!
    Photo Credit: DaPuglet
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    9. Watch other people be Irish
    What better way than to learn from the real thing? Brush up on movies like The Boondock Saints that feature the fellow people of your kind, then proceed to talk, dress and act accordingly. Easy enough, right? Oh, and good luck mastering an accent (that doesn't have a hint of Australian or British in it!)
    Photo Credit: Rennett Stowe
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    10. Keep cool
    Finally, and perhaps most importantly, don't let anyone know that you aren't in fact Irish. That is until the end of the day (and especially after a few of our Drinks Recipes for St. Patrick's Day) when no one will really care anyway. Everyone is Irish on St. Patty's Day!
    Photo Credit: Stephen Edgar